Remembering

Memorial Day. I can't believe it's here again. Last year we all stood over Julie's head noticing how her hair parted and fell just as yours did. It made us all so sad, but in a silly way.

I took flowers to your grave today, and there were so many! You are truly loved and remembered by more people than we (or you, probably,) will ever know. I love knowing that wherever I go, I can mention your name, and without fail, someone will know you, or remember you, or be related to you! It's amazing this legacy you've left behind. Your grandchildren talk about you every day, as if you're still such a huge part of their lives. Your children talk about you every day, and wish you were still around to answer those important questions, like what kind of soy sauce you used in Nasi, and how we're related to George Brown.

I'm sad to see that these nearly 3 years have gone by so quickly. So much has changed, most of us and our lives would be mere shadows of who we were when you left us. But I think it's mostly good change. Growth. Lots and lots of growth. It hasn't come easy, but it's come regardless, and the strength to endure comes from knowing you have our backs, and you watch over us every day.

Happy Memorial Day, mom. We miss you!

Where Has The Time Gone?

Mom,
I miss you. I miss you more than I ever thought I could. I think of you every day. I talk of you every day. My kids do too. We all miss you.

It was 2 years ago this very night, this very time in fact, that I was lying at your side waiting for what I knew was the end. The veil was thin that night, and you were hovering between the here and there.

My heart was breaking. I was bargaining with God, I was talking to you with my thoughts, telling you all the "I love you's" I could get out, enough to make up for these years of not having you here to hear them.

And then you were gone. You slipped through our fingers and flew as an angel. We sat in stunned silence and prayed with all our hearts that you would forever know how much you were loved. And you still are loved. Not only by us, but by so many.

I miss you. I love you. I can't believe it's been 2 years. And yet it seems like forever has passed since I've seen you. I hope you can see us, and I hope we make you proud. I hope you can feel how much we love you, and that you can somehow show us you're still here.

This night will always be hard, but now we are all together to remember that summer. We laugh a lot, we cry plenty, and we remember with reverent fondness all those miracles and mercies that were ours for those short weeks.

And we remember you. We will never forget you, and all the wonderful things that make you, you. We miss you. We love you.

Love,
All of us.