Thursday, September 11, 2008

On The Eve of 7 Weeks

Thank you, Katrina, for this lovely quote. It's been nearly 7 weeks. She's been gone longer than we even knew about the cancer. What a strange new world it is without her. Empty, sad, and raw. We all miss her, every second. Times flood in when you realize she's really gone, and the sickness in the pit of your stomach hits. It's a familiar comfort of nausea. The tears are farther between, though certainly not fewer. I think we've all done something when we think of her up there laughing at us for what we've done, or crying with us in our pain, or reveling in that perfect moment of peace with us. I often think of those she's now in contact with, and I know she's so happy. Her good friend Audrey Drury just met up with her a week or so ago. I know they are having a good catching up moment. But now on to the quote. Such perfect phrasing for what we have been through. I'm sure many of you can relate this to some point in your life. For that, I'm sorry, but I know I personally wouldn't change a thing.

"We don't have life experiences so that we can simply endure them. We must endure them well so that those experiences do change us. That is the purpose of those experiences. If we don't change through them, then they are simply tragic. But if they do change us then they are what I like to call "difficult blessings." They are blessings that we would never wish for, that we would never wish upon anyone else. But if we are honest with ourselves we realize that the best attributes we have, our love, our compassion, our desire to serve, to do better, to be better couldn't have come about to the same degree without those experiences. And so, while we would gladly do away with the experience we would never trade what the experience has done to us. Unfortunately, we cannot have one without the other."


amy k said...

Keli, you are so amazing with your words and posts. I just want you to know that you really inspire others.

That quote is so true. I had to read it twice. (In fact it's one that you would see R.S. writing it on a scrapbook paper and making it all crafty and handing out in a lesson.) Just know that you have a whole big blogging community on your side. : )

Jill Johnson said...

Thanks Sis. I got asked yesterday how is your Mom? I answered she is the best she has ever been. It is so true. That quote is perfect! I hadn't cried yet today, Thanks!

Michelle said...

My mom and I went to Audry Drury's funeral. Audry's husband, Jim and my Dad were great friends. They worked together at Kennecott for 30years. Can I say that I am not surprised that Audry and your mom were great friends. Her funeral was just as packed as your mom's. A great tribute to how much these two women were loved! Hang in there. I find so much solace in knowing that my Dad is sooo happy and is with his mom and dad, and a sister and brother. Even if I could bring him back I wouldn't because he is in the most beautiful place he could ever be in!!! I think of you all everyday.
I love you!
Michelle Muhlestein

ClistyB said...

by chance was audry's viewing at the same place your mom's was? because I drove by a while ago and saw a large crowd and thought, "just as packed as Nunn's"

grannybabs said...

Very thought provoking.

My trials in life do not seem as great as many I've been reading about lately.

but they are the only trials I have at the moment - and they are hard for me!

Hopefully they are changing me!

Larissa said...

Amazing quote! Amazing thoughts! Thank you!

Kelli said...

Thanks Keli, I am constantly thinking about the hard things we went through and the blessings we received. I hope I never forget the things we learned.

Melissa Mae Johnson said...

I happened upon your blog through a friend. I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother. My mom has been battling breast cancer off and for 12 years now. It has spread throughout her entire body and she is going through her fourth round right now. It is humbling, in the least, to watch someone you love go through something so tragic. But its wonderful to have the perspective we have, isn't it? Knowing when my mom passes, I will see her again.
I thought you might appreciate this. these are photographs I took of my mom through her third round last year.
Our thoughts and prayers are with your family.