Thursday, July 31, 2008

Humility

How can there possibly be enough words to express our thanks and gratitude to so many? The last few days have been so crazy. I think we were all as prepared as we could be when mom died, at least emotionally speaking. I don't remember one person telling me that afterwards I would be a complete mental mess. Decision making? Nope. A coherent sentence? Nada. Even a complete thought? Nay. And all of this in addition to being physically exhausted.

To all of you that were able to attend the viewing, so sorry about the wait. Seriously, I felt like the more we talked, the longer the line got, so the more we needed to talk to make the wait worth it! I hope most of you were rewarded with some small piece of priceless advice from at least one of us kids. But really, it was such a tribute to mom, and the way she lived her life. She was friends with everyone. I needed her there by my side to tell me who everyone was. I know there were family members from way way back that I didn't recognize. Sorry 'bout that. She always took care of that stuff. I guess I'll have to learn now. Bummer.

The funeral was wonderful. It was very cathartic to say and write what we were feeling. There was definitely a sense of closure there, at least for me. Not that that makes it any easier. Trust me, I would take her back in a second. But if she had to suffer that way, I would give her up again in a second too. Normal life has slowly started to sink in. I guess the rest of the world doesn't care that I just buried my mom. It just keeps going on. And that's probably the best thing for me. Carry on.

Please please, keep reading this here blog. I'm hoping we can tell stories of just a few of the small miracles that sustained us through all this. And perhaps we can merge it into a family event dumping ground. We'll just have to see how it evolves. But I know I at least need to keep it going for now. I don't want my own blog to become covered in cancer, so we'll just keep it contained here.

Thank you so much to everyone who attended the events, or sent cards and food and flowers. There aren't enough thank you cards at all the Target's in the valley. But that doesn't mean I'm off the hook.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing Keli. I would love to share more with you. I think I was the craziest in the family. I made my dad banana pancakes that was something he would eat while he was sick and now it is very difficult for me to make them. So I keep trying. You guys were incredible at the funeral! I am certain it made your father very proud.

Georgette Butterfield Vent

grannybabs said...

You are to be commended for sharing your story and experience. I am sure it will be helpful for many.

And I believe in words - and the power they have to release feelings.

Take good care of yourself - and feel free to reflect, reminisce, remind, remember - whatever helps you in the time ahead.

We are hear to listen!!

grannybabs said...

"We are here to listen." Maybe "hear" to listen too - I've been hanging around middle school students too long I guess!!

Michelle said...

My name is Michelle, and I am Wayne and Mary Andrus' daughter...and Suzanne (Suz) Richin's daughter-in-law's sister...did that make sense? Anyways...My mom called me to let me know of your mom's passing, and she told me about this blog. Though I have probably only met your parents a handful of times, the fact that I've known your mom's name for my whole life means a lot...knowing what great friends your parents have been with mine means the world to me. I think it is great that you have this blog as a tribute to your mom. I am so sorry for your loss and send all of you my love and prayers.

Anonymous said...

"Lying awake at dawn, I remember them, with a love that is almost joy I remember them: Lost, and all mine, all mine, forever. -John Hall Wheelock

nikkipicky said...

I'm glad your keeping the blog up. It allows me to share a few more noteables. :) Also I feel like it is keeping me in touch with you all and I like that too.

Noteable: Remember the boys from Argentina or Venezuala. I can't remember for sure which it was. Boy did I think one of them was smokin' hot! LOL! Anyway I can't even remember what they were doing staying at your house. I just remember that Troy and I took them skiing. You mom had me drive and I drove the old yellow and white blazer. That was an awesome SUV, it even had the loud muffler. I do however, think that I gave Troy a heartattack driving. Every time I would brake to coast on the way down the canyon, I would push in the clutch. Yes, that meant we gained speed when I was wanting to go a little slower. I think I even recall Troy (who clearly wasn't old enough to drive) say are you supposed to push the clutch in every time you brake to slow down? We must have made it down that canyon in record time. I'm sure there were a few big eyes in the back seat from the Argentines, considering it was snowing and all. What can I say...I had to have only been 16 and like 9 months. Oh the memories!! :)

Larissa said...

I keep thinking about you all and wondering how you all are doing? I know these times are hard and just wonder if there is anything I can do to help you out or should be doing to help you out. Please know that there are many of us here to lean on, to call and to ask for help. I know you have each other, but we are here for you too. Any of you can call me anytime, if you ever need a listening ear or hugs or whatever!!! Plus, I'm a night owl if that helps.
I am so happy you are keeping the blog going. I was hoping to hear some more about the tiny miracles that you have experienced. I have talked about this whole experience with others and they are impressed with your mother's and your entire families insight, faith and testimonies. It truly is a learning experience for all of us. Thank you. And I will admit, I keep going back to Nunn's notes and reading her words as well as her comments on my blog. I think that is somewhat cathartic for me.
Love you all!

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