Sunday, July 6, 2008

The Love We Feel Equals The Sorrow We Fear

I was admonished today (isn't admonished a great word for a Sunday post?) to update the blog. Silly me, I thought I had updated it yesterday. I guess that's not enough, and you people are jonesing for more of the mess that makes up my brain. So I'm going to share some thoughts about what took place today in Relief Society, or RS, as it will now be known on this blog. It's just easier to type RS, because for some reason, even though my brain knows it's "I" before "E", my fingers just don't type it that way. Wow, that alone could make up an entire post, but perhaps it would be better suited on my other blog. But I digress.

Today's lesson was on overcoming adversity. Nice. Very apropos for the events as of late. Lucky for me, I have an uncanny ability to seem invisible when topics turn serious. So I just sat and listened to the women in the Ward talk about how they had used our Gospel and the Plan of Salvation, and our knowledge of eternal families to become stronger through the trials they have faced. Many had lost children, or grandchildren, and one even lost her spouse. Some had dealt with health issues, and many with Cancer. I listened and tried to take in all the words of advice that seemed to be thrown my way. I tried, I really did. But then someone said exactly what I needed to hear at that moment.

She turned around from the row in front of me, and spoke my name. All she said was, "Keli, no matter what anyone tells you, it's still going to be hard."

That was so on the mark.

All my life, I've learned to take lemons and make lemonade. But to have someone actually tell me it's hard, and that they understand was exactly the boost I needed this day. I felt better.

So even though this may not seem like an official update, take that alone as an update in and of itself. There really hasn't been too much to update. Mom is doing well. As well as can be imagined. Surprisingly, the visitor pool hasn't slowed too much, but when she is too tired, she makes herself scarce. Don't take this personally. She just can't overdo it. Tomorrow we have an appointment with the Oncologist, so hopefully we will have more medical terminology to throw around. Stay tuned for that, for sure.

Thanks for the awesome comments. Keep them coming. Mom loves hearing stories and insights from the past. The "good 'ol days". It warms our hearts to hear of the wonderful memories you all have of our mom, and our family. Thank you again.


Jeanette said...

I'm a stranger to you, but I found your blog through blog hopping and have been very touched by it. Having lost my dad to cancer 17 years ago I really appreciate this post. I wish someone had given me permission to let cancer be hard. When my dad was sick I made so much "lemonaid" that I was drowning in it. I put on a happy face and never talked about how I was dying inside right along with him. When he'd try to talk to me about the seriousness of his disease and about the possibilty of his leaving us, I'd bury my head in the sand and make some ridiculous joke to lighten the mood (I shudder at some of the stupid things I said). I know that I missed out on some priceless talks with him because of it. I wish I had been real, authentic and honest with my feelings. I used to think that to show sorrow or fear meant that I was wavering in my faith. I had to remain positive to prove that I had faith in my Heavenly Father's ability to heal my dad. I now understand that faith is knowing that we can go to our Lord and plead for his assistance and whether it be through triumph or trial he will be there for us. And it's okay to say, "I don't like this trial" and to cry. Even Jesus himself, the greatest of all, wept for his friends when he saw their sorrow at the loss of their brother.
But in all of this let's not forget that miracles do happen. We have all heard amazing stories of survival and I am certain that if it is the Lord's will for your mom to be healed she will be healed. No illness is greater than He. I add my prayers to yours that she will be made whole. But in the meantime, when the lemons are extra sour, don't be ashamed to make a yucky face. Someday through the glory of our Savior's atonement, there will be lemonaid for all. And I say, Cheers to that!

Nikkipicky said...

Amazing!! :) I had that same lesson in RS. Isn't it great the way the gospel works, we all learn from the same manual. I however am not as skilled as Keli, I have not learned how to be invisible. I have however, taken to sitting on the back row so when I have tears running freely down my cheeks (this tyically happens at one time or another EVERY Sunday)not the WHOLE RS can see and wonder what my issues are.

I read Meg's blog today, and she mentioned Waterskiing, hence another Noorda noteable.

I remember on one of our trips to Lake Powell during high water, we were camping up this tiny canyon. We had driven up this canyon basically wide enough for 1 boat and at the end lay a norrow stretch of beach that continued up the canyon farther. It was a great place and out of the crowd because it was Memorial or Labor Day weekend I can't remember which.

Anyway..we were all swimming/sitting around relaxing when there was a great commotion and it was noticed that a very young Meg was floating face down in about 2 feet of water. She had a life jacket on but it had allowed her to flip. I can't remember who it was that pulled her out, Paula, Danny, Stevie or Fred. I just remember the joy at her sudden cry. She must have only been in the water seconds. The fear and joy you can experience in a mini second. I experienced them all. How blessed we all were that day. Our heavenly father watches over us and blesses us in simple ways every day.

In our RS we have a time before the lesson where we are asked if anyone has a good news minute. Typically only once in while is anything shared. Yesterday with this lesson on adversity and eternal perspective we were all challenged to notice and make note of the good moments that happen everyday. Whether they be a second a minute or longer. If we look at our days one at a time moment to moment we will always find something noteworthy, that brings us happiness and qualifies as a good news minute. I will take the challenge and make it a goal. You all seem to be doing a lot of this, finding the good in each moment. You are an example to us all. Love you!